Hey everyone I wanted to update you all, I don't have a lot of time and so it will not be as detailed as my normal entries, but here is the latest:
As you can read in my previous post, we found out in October that I am apparently not ovulating, thus I started Clomid. My last entry was written during our TWW (two week wait) of that cycle (the two weeks of waiting to find out if we're pregnant after ovulation). On November 11 we had a positive HPT (home pregnancy test)-- first one EVER-- the test line was very faint, so we were still unsure- my doctor ordered a blood test to confirm, and we found out later that day that we were both pregnant and miscarrying. It was terribly sad. The next several weeks held a lot of emotional processing for the both of us. The Lord was very near.
Prior to the miscarriage I had begun to think and wonder if there were alternative methods to helping my body do what it "should" be doing naturally on it's own, rather than forcing it (through Clomid). After the miscarriage I felt even more confirmed. People would say things to me like "This is a good thing, it shows that you can get pregnant!" But to me, all it showed was that we had sperm and eggs that worked, but not a uterus that would or could carry a pregnancy (they think my embryo never implanted into the uterus). So all the more I began to ask the Lord "if there is something I can be doing naturally, whether a change in diet or otherwise to help my body do this on its own, will you lead me to it". A few weeks later I received the book "The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies" from a dear friend. I am not going to lie, at first I took one look at it and threw it onto my bookshelf. I was skeptical. Over Christmas break I decided to take it with me and begin reading it... 1 page in and I couldn't put it down. I am not going to go into huge detail here, but what this book talked about made sense, and as Danny and I talked about it, we could not come up with one reason not to try it. I am 26 years old, I am healthy, my body should be doing this on its own, and it's not... and maybe, just maybe we can help it along. Per my OB the next step for us is seeing a fertility specialist, and the beginning of (what I consider) a grueling process of drugs, pokes, prodding, $$$, etc... Why not try this first? It is definitely cheaper, natural and we don't have to drive 3 hours to do any of it (Did I mention that there are NO fertility specialists in Springfield, MO-- you have to go to St. Louis or KC-grrrrrrreat...)
So that's what we're doing, I am taking a break from Clomid and other med's for now-- I am seeing an acupuncturist, taking herbs, changing my diet --all the while learning what it means to trust Jesus (not trust Him to give us what we want-- but just trust Him regardless), and hoping.
Keep praying for us.
